User: I just bought a new monitor - can you set it up on my computer?
Support: Not a problem
User: Just make sure you transfer over all my icons and programs
Support: We are not replacing your computer
User: I know, but I need all of my icons on the new monitor, so please transfer them

#10 - 2008-01-05 -

User: If i plug 9 pc's into a 16 port router and 1 internet it will share the internet through all the pc's right?
Support: All machines will be able to access the internet, but they will not share in a friendly way. One person will be able to slow everybody down.
User: So will plugging 4 internet sources into the router to be shared help at all or is it pointless?
Support: What 4 internet sources?
User: Instead of taking 1 cable from the adsl modem to the router take 4 of them. My modem has a 4 port switch inbuilt
Support: No, no help

#29 - 2008-05-28 -

I read about some unix server dying every night, so the techs stayed overnite drinking coffee to see why it dies every nite then they see the maid come in, unplug the server, plug in the vacuum, vacuum the floor, replug the server and leave.

#12 - 2008-01-05 -

"I think this could definitely be a PEBKAC issue"- Problem Exist Between Keyboard and Chair

#17 - 2008-01-15 -

Geek 1: I started working with databases when DB2 was around
Geek 2: Yeah, well, I started working with databases when DB1 was around!

#35 - 2009-05-12 -

Customer: Help Me! I think someone's hacking my computer.
Support: OK, what makes you think you've been hacked?
Customer: I don't think I've BEEN hacked, I think I'm STILL BEING hacked, I think someone's hacking my computer RIGHT NOW!
Support: It's ok. Calm down and we'll work it out. What makes you think you are being hacked right now?
Customer: Well, it's weird, I keep seeing someone called ian connecting and disconnecting from my computer.
Support: What do you mean? How can you see him connecting?
Customer: Down in the bottom right hand corner, I keep seeing a message saying "lan is disconnected" and then a few minutes later it'll say "lan is now connected" and then he disconnects again! Why would he be doing that? Please help! I use my computer for internet banking and I'm afraid he'll steal my money! Can we call the police or something?
Support (trying very hard not to laugh): It's OK. No one's hacking your PC. It's not I-A-N, it's L-A-N and it stand for Local Area Network. It seems your have a faulty network connection. Can you please check the blue cable connecting your PC to your modem?

Needless to say, his cable was faulty. :D

#15 - 2008-01-05 -

Support (to home customer): Do you have a fairly fast internet connection, because the file you need to download is 300Mb?
User: Nah mate, I've only got broadband.

#4 - 2008-01-03 -