Latest quotes
User: My AD account appears to be locked, can you please unlock it?
Support: Please clear your IE cache
Support: Please clear your IE cache
#37 - 2010-06-08 -
I'm just waiting for my USB wireless internet
#36 - 2010-05-14 -
Geek 1: I started working with databases when DB2 was around
Geek 2: Yeah, well, I started working with databases when DB1 was around!
Geek 2: Yeah, well, I started working with databases when DB1 was around!
#35 - 2009-05-12 -
My majors including the Microsoft certified professional certificate signed by Bill Gates
#34 - 2009-04-28 -
Tech: I need you to right click your mouse
User: I dont see how thats going to help
Tech: Trust me right click your mouse
User: Dont treat me like an Idiot
Tech: Im not please just right click on your mouse
User: Alright Im clicking my right hand over the mouse and nothing is happening
User: I dont see how thats going to help
Tech: Trust me right click your mouse
User: Dont treat me like an Idiot
Tech: Im not please just right click on your mouse
User: Alright Im clicking my right hand over the mouse and nothing is happening
#33 - 2009-04-10 -
User: I'm having trouble with product X
IT guy: I haven't used that product before
User: I followed the install instructions, but now I can't save any Word documents
IT guy: I don't know, I haven't used that product before
User: But I can't save my Word documents!
IT guy: You have more experience with the product than I do
User: But I've only installed it
IT guy: That's more than I've done
User: Can't you help me anyway?
IT guy: If you managed to follow the installation instructions, why can't you follow me instructing you that I know nothing about the product?
User: I just thought you might know...
IT guy: I haven't used that product before
User: I followed the install instructions, but now I can't save any Word documents
IT guy: I don't know, I haven't used that product before
User: But I can't save my Word documents!
IT guy: You have more experience with the product than I do
User: But I've only installed it
IT guy: That's more than I've done
User: Can't you help me anyway?
IT guy: If you managed to follow the installation instructions, why can't you follow me instructing you that I know nothing about the product?
User: I just thought you might know...
#32 - 2009-02-05 -
support: Welcome to HP, John speaking
user: How do you spell HP?
support: Excuse me?
user: How do your spell your company name, HP?
support: Umm, have a think about it
user: Oh shit (hangs up)
user: How do you spell HP?
support: Excuse me?
user: How do your spell your company name, HP?
support: Umm, have a think about it
user: Oh shit (hangs up)
#30 - 2008-08-26 -
User: If i plug 9 pc's into a 16 port router and 1 internet it will share the internet through all the pc's right?
Support: All machines will be able to access the internet, but they will not share in a friendly way. One person will be able to slow everybody down.
User: So will plugging 4 internet sources into the router to be shared help at all or is it pointless?
Support: What 4 internet sources?
User: Instead of taking 1 cable from the adsl modem to the router take 4 of them. My modem has a 4 port switch inbuilt
Support: No, no help
Support: All machines will be able to access the internet, but they will not share in a friendly way. One person will be able to slow everybody down.
User: So will plugging 4 internet sources into the router to be shared help at all or is it pointless?
Support: What 4 internet sources?
User: Instead of taking 1 cable from the adsl modem to the router take 4 of them. My modem has a 4 port switch inbuilt
Support: No, no help
#29 - 2008-05-28 -
There are only two types of computer users in the world - those who have lost data, and those who will
#28 - 2008-05-15 -