My majors including the Microsoft certified professional certificate signed by Bill Gates

#34 - 2009-04-28 -

There are only two types of computer users in the world - those who have lost data, and those who will

#28 - 2008-05-15 -

Support: Ok i'll get you to press the start button
Then we heard a beep
Tech: Did you press it?
Customer: Yes, i pressed the star button
The customer instead of pressing the windows start button, pressed the asterisk on the phone!

#24 - 2008-02-27 -

User: I'm having trouble with product X
IT guy: I haven't used that product before
User: I followed the install instructions, but now I can't save any Word documents
IT guy: I don't know, I haven't used that product before
User: But I can't save my Word documents!
IT guy: You have more experience with the product than I do
User: But I've only installed it
IT guy: That's more than I've done
User: Can't you help me anyway?
IT guy: If you managed to follow the installation instructions, why can't you follow me instructing you that I know nothing about the product?
User: I just thought you might know...

#32 - 2009-02-05 -

support: Welcome to HP, John speaking
user: How do you spell HP?
support: Excuse me?
user: How do your spell your company name, HP?
support: Umm, have a think about it
user: Oh shit (hangs up)

#30 - 2008-08-26 -

SELECT *
FROM users
WHERE clue > 0;

0 rows returned;

#31 - 2008-12-21 -

Support: You will need to power cycle your modem
User: I need to recycle my modem and buy a new one??

#8 - 2008-01-03 -

The universe tends toward maximum irony. Don't push it.

#23 - 2008-02-25 -